


Shaq's Misgivings Over Cute Sweaters

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 18:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hal got a sweater for Shaq.  It's /cute/.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shaq's Misgivings Over Cute Sweaters

“I got you something!” Hal says with a note of glee that makes Shaq cringe. 

“It is something distasteful and ridiculous.  I can tell by the tone of your voice,” Shaq says, narrowing his eyes.

“It’s fantastic!” Hal says, shoving a wad of bright red fabric into Shaq’s hands.  “Come on.”

Shaq shakes out the fabric and examines it.  “What is it?”

“It’s a sweater!” Hal says.  “Dad’s gonna try to get something kind of Christmassy together to try to boost morale and I thought you should be appropriately dressed!”

“You wish for me to wear this?” Shaq asks, certain this is a human joke.  They are never amusing.  “Your human sense of humor is tiring as always.”

“I’m not making a joke!  It’s for you,” Hal says. 

“Why does it have so many felines?  Why are they wearing hats?” Shaq asks. 

“Because it’s cute!” Hal says. 

“I will not wear cute clothing,” Shaq says, glaring down at the offensive sweater in his hands. 

“Yes, you will,” Hal says.  “It’ll fit, don’t worry.  I know your body pretty well.”

“The size is not my objection.  My objection is the ridiculous nature of this request.  I do not require sweaters and I do not like cute things,” Shaq says.

“But you love me!” Hal says, batting his eyelashes.  “So clearly you like cute things.”

“That is incorrect,” Shaq says.  “Love is an idiotic human emotion, and I do not experience it.  I do not love you and I will never love you.” 

He has explained this many times.  Hal never seems to comprehend it.

“Uh _huh_ ,” Hal says.  He seems about to list off the reasons why he believes that Shaq loves him, so Shaq cuts him off.  They have been over his list approximately two dozen times.

“It is true,” Shaq says, attempting to give Hal back the sweater.  “Take it.”

“You know what I really like?” Hal says, stepping deftly to the side to avoid him and then getting in Shaq’s personal space.  “What really turns me on?”

Shaq snorts, hopefully giving off a clear sense of annoyance, but truthfully feeling slightly off kilter, as he always does when Hal is so close.  “Many things.  Humans are easily aroused.”

“Hey, you don’t know about _humans_ ; you know about me,” Hal says, looking up at him.

“Dealing with one human intimately is more than enough,” Shaq says.

“I’m a lot for you to handle, I know,” Hal says, patting his arm.  “But as I was saying, what really turns me on is people in cat sweaters.  Especially if they’re big and strong like you are.  Really gets me purring.”

Shaq can tell by how self-satisfied he appears that Hal has made some idiotic human witticism.  Hal’s humor is something that Shaq has always been grateful that he does not understand. 

“This sweater induces arousal?” Shaq asks, examining it again.

“Yep!” Hal says, pressing himself against Shaq’s body. 

“You appear capable of becoming aroused without the sweater.  In fact, we have had intercourse many times without a sweater being involved,” Shaq says.  “It is preferable when we are both naked.”

Hal pulls back and pouts.  “Just trust me- you want to wear that sweater.”

“For now, I would prefer that we both remove our clothing,” Shaq says, placing his free hand on Hal’s waist.

Hal laughs.  “Sounds good.”

* * *

 

After they have engaged in intercourse, Hal falls asleep as he often does, with his pathetically frail body sprawled on top of Shaq’s strong Volm body.  In another familiar pattern, Hal quickly begins to ‘shiver’- a human action that indicates that he is cold. 

Grumbling quietly to himself, but moving carefully to ensure that he does not disturb Hal, Shaq shifts them around, so Hal is lying on his side.  Then, Shaq pulls the covers that he keeps on his bed for Hal’s sake over them both.  Finally, Shaq curls himself around Hal. 

It is not because he cares- which is what Hal would posit if he were awake-, but because Hal is more irritable than usual if awoken or cold.  In addition, Shaq has heard tales of human body parts becoming so cold they fall off.  There are parts of Hal that Shaq greatly enjoys, particularly his penis. 

As he stares out at his quarters, slightly bored, he sees the sweater that Hal had given him.  It is ridiculous in design, as are many of the things that humans design, but he suspects it is ridiculous to humans too.

However… if it could improve Hal’s sexual performance, wearing a ridiculous garment may be worth it. It is not as if he care what humans think of him.  While his commanding officer will likely be present, it is well known that his commanding officer has a true and deep affection for humans and the trappings of their culture.

It is baffling!  That any Volm could enjoy humans and their endless optimism, their desire for emotional bonding, their ridiculously hairy and frail bodies.  They remain in family units and-

Hal shivers against his body, and Shaq is distracted from his thoughts.  He makes sure that the blanket is fully covering Hal before pulling him a little closer and nuzzling the back of his furry neck for warmth.  It would not do for Hal to get cold.


End file.
